Bracket Challenge: Coroner’s Carnage
Coroners have all the luck. They work crappy hours, but get the benefit of dealing with people all day long that never talk back. Then comes o’l Jason to mess everything up. You would think that Jason would appreciate their handy work. After all he and the coroners have something in common, they all slice bodies up. Vote for which of these coroners you think has what it takes to move on to the next round.
Axel thinks of himself as THE coroner pimp. He lures nurses into the hospital morgue at night to get his freak on. And on those rare occasions when he isn’t scoring with the hospital staff in the morgue, he enjoys watching young woman aerobicise on TV. If only he would have closed that door behind him tighter.
Phil (Coroner) (Jason Goes To Hell)
Richard Gant is great in his scene. I laugh outloud everytime he says, “In my professional opinion this guy’s deader than shit!” He doesn’t play the role too seriously and has fun doing it. Also, he makes for an awesome Jason in the movie. He has the same build as Kane.
Assistant Coroner (Jason Goes To Hell)
Dean Lorey also turns in a brief and funny performance as the assistant coroner. I love when he turns to Jason’s body parts and tells him to “suck it”. He also has an apparent need to take a “mango size crap” on Jason’s mask.
Retro Slashers Headlines
Axel
Coroner Richard Gant,
This one was tough but the bloody heart munching was some gross shit. Not my favorite Friday but a cool horror flick on its own.
Axel
Axel
Gant. one of the highlights of this unmemorable film.
I never really cared for Axel, although he did have a showstopping death.
I’m voting Gant!
Axel
Axel… because at least he didn’t have to take a bite out of Jason’s heart and become a unworthy Jason substitute. And that JGTH coroner’s assistent had one funny line and that’s it.
Oh and why isn’t Adrienne from JASON X in this division???
Tiger Mask,
I didn’t include Adrienne as those were kids on a “science field trip” looking for artifacts on Earth. She then was conducting experiments on Jason for research as opposed to the others in this list who were doctors and their sole purpose was to determine cause of death. I just thought Adrienne may have been too much of a stretch.
axel of course
Axel
Gant
jasonsfury: okay. But she will be a part of a future (no pun intended) bracket challenge, right?
She will be in a very special bracket!
Axel … i found those aerobics girls on the tv mad attractive too and while i did find his affinity for an attractive, yet dead girl bizarre i give Axel the nod over the other two guys.
Axel- loved how he could eat that tuna sandwich with jason lying next to him. I figured jason whacked him cause he put the sandwich on his corpse rather than on the table.
I think Axel should win this bracket.
axel, come on he almost got some too!
Axel
Axel….not to mention he’s in Police Academy.
Sorry, even though I think TFC is a far better movie than JGTH, I *have* to vote for Grant. Pausing your exam to eat a corpse’s heart earns major cool points.
^Gant, I mean. Pardon my error.
axel
I agree with Tiger Mask…
What about Adrienne from Jason X…that was a spectacular death!!
If my only choices are the two mentioned…it’ll have to be Axel.
But I totally vote Adrienne if I could.
I am voting for the Assistant Coroner.
I can’t help but see Axel and associate him with Police Academy.
I can’t help but see Richard Gant and think “That guy actually signed on for the Revenge of the Nerds tv series.”
Plus, the assistant was hilarious (as was Richard), but he was one of those few people in the series to actually mouth off to Jason. It reminded me of this scene from Hallween: Resurrection. Not very many people can tell Michael Myers “Scoot. Skedaddle!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ7IK9cY4D0
Axel (The Final Chapter)
axel
Axel as he had the most kick ass death scene of the 3…………..KI,KI,KI,MA,MA,MA.
Agree with the guys above about adrianne.
But I will vote Axel for one reason. That uncut death scene above. That was awesome.
Just read your reason for not including Jasonfury. No need to explain.
I had to think hard about this one. But I vote for Phil the coroner from JGTH. Although I didnt really care for this installment, the heart eating scene was gruesome..and he got to knock off a few people including Kane Hodder which I thought was funny.
Axel
my vote goes to Axel
axel, knows how to get some ass on the job
My vote is for the Assistant Coroner.
He said he would “Shit right on that fuckin hockey mask” Now that takes balls to say right in front of “Jason”
holy jesus jumping christmas shit ! AXEL !
axel
While Axel was funny (especially thinking a dead girl was still cute even though she was dead) my nod goes to Phil. While the heart eating scene was cool, I enjoyed Richard Gant’s portrayal of Jason. He was pretty freakin’ menacing.
Axel.
Better death, brings more humor as well.
Axel
Axel
Axel! I have that work-out on VHS that he is watching on TV. Every morning I workout to it!
axel from part 4 for sure,jason takes manhatten is shit box.will never vote for anything after part 5,axel you are the superbowl of self-abuse
Axel is pimp
Axel by a long shot. Tom Savini did the effects for his death too. He is also the first guy to die in The Final Chapter which is a pretty good entry in the series if I do say so myself. Golly, I don’t even know why Phil is in the running here. There should be a rule about how a F13 film counts only if Jason himself is in the film for at least half of the kills. Part 5 and Part 9 should not be anywhere near these contests because they are the worst things ever made on Earth. Part 9 would only be cool if Sadam Hussein ate Jason’s heart and went on a killing rampage in Fallujah. Phil sucks and so does the assistant.
Axel, mostly for the death scene.
Axel
Coroner PIMP Axel
Axel
Axel, the only one I like out of those.
chuck30 he was talking about chris not a dead girl home skillet. just wanted to throw that in there
Let me tell you first who WONT win….Dean Lorey. With that said, the other two are very difficult to pick from. Axel definitely had his way with the women..but his coroner skills sucked because he couldnt even close the fridge door!! Richard Grant gets my pick because he not only had a sense of humor…but i dont care what that heart was really made out of…that was fucking GROSS to watch him eat it. I had diahrea the next day just on that image
Richard grant all the way!!!!
Phil
Robgina summed it up perfectly! Axel all day.
Axel..as if there was any doubt I mean come on the guy was a pure sex-o-maniac. The 80’s spandex work out video was killer and the guy made the scene more compelling by adding the lustful gazes and sighs. BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O!! GO AXEL GO!!! Please have a playa bracket so that Teddy from part 4 can sweep the competition.
Since the Final Chapter is my favorite of the series, my vote goes to Axel.
Axel,
Only for having one of the greatest deaths in F13 history.
Axel of course
I hated all of these characters. Smug pricks, not funny, and I was thrilled when they died. But at least Axel since he had a sick death and got some ass.
Axel Always loved that character
Axel.
Phil… I hated JGTH but he was cool…
axel. his scene was really funny.
Axel… I never liked Jason Goes To Hell, or any of the newer sequels. Part 8 is when the series really started to go down hill.
Axel for sure
My vote is for the “Assistant Coroner” from JGTH.
Axel
AXEL!! He is SSSSOOOOOO funny! I mean come on the the coroners from JGTH were stupid.
axel indefinetly
AXEL for sure!
Axel, easily.
I’ve already voted on coroners carnage but i just wanted to suggest a future bracket chalenge………….BEST BOOBS.Or am i being too sexist.Sorry if i’ve offended anyone…………..KI,KI,KI,MA,MA,MA.
I have to vote for Grant as well. How many people would find Jason’s heart as dilectable as he did?
baz,
I think that division could offend a few. Just a hunch
JF, that’d be an easier winner…Debi Sue Voorhees. She was hot. So far there’s 54 for Axel, 11 for Phil and 3 for the assistant. I hope we have a best killer bracket.
i vote for axel, love part 4, and i would not be offended by the best boobs bracket, nor would most friday fans
Axel was gay but he didn’t know it.
Axel all the way
Axel all the way. Fabulous Savini made-up make up FX for his death sequence, plus his beyond horny dialogue made him one of the most eccentric Morticians ever but on 35mm.
Axel.
But my cut of the kill is way better…they barely added anything to that one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYDS9kgpBt0
oh best boobs, Debi Sue for sure !
axel all the way!